And I rack up another year.

This Sunday our parish priest read out an open letter from Fr Manuel Mussallam who is the priest for the tiny Catholic community of 200 in the Holy Family parish in Gaza. The profoundly moving letter recounted the situation in Gaza under the conditions of war imposed by Israel over the last few weeks. My heart broke at this passage:

Nearly four months has gone by without a peep from me. For that I'm sorry. Life has not been easy recently, what with my father suffering a fall resulting in a broken hip and two bouts of illness for me (flu followed almost immediately afterwards by the dreaded winter vomiting bug, which knocked me off my feet for nearly three weeks) I've not really had the inclination or the time to keep up with this thing... Perhaps a New Year resolution is appropriate?!

Today is the 11th of September.

Bad news, I'm afraid.

Hurricane Gustav is approaching New Orleans. That poor city which hasn't yet recovered from Hurricane Katrina is facing the possibility of yet another natural disaster. Let us hope and pray that the levees hold and those who are left behind in the city, both residents and those who are there to protect life and property, will survive the onslaught of the approaching maelstrom.

The BBC is today reporting a leaked Home Office letter suggesting that crime will go up because of the economic downturn. It says that smuggling will increase as well as property crime - theft, burglary, etc - and violent crime. It also says that there will be increased hostility to migrants as competition for jobs increases and that there will be a tendency towards support growing for far right political parties as a result.

I just heard these words in a lovely song. Don't they describe God so
well?

A topic for meditation, I think.

Should I start chewing my nails now? It's seven days and counting until I leave for the Seminary. 

It seems to me, these days, that loyalty and obedience have flown out the window at all levels in society, often in surprising circumstances.

As a society we seem to be concentrating more and more on our own benefit and less on the effect we have on others. This is demonstrated in social activities, political activities, business behaviour and even by some people who call themselves ministers of religion - people who really ought to know better.

The culture of being responsible to a superior seems to be vanishing. All over the place bosses are vilified and ridiculed behind their backs by those who should owe them some loyalty. But then, perhaps this is just a symptom of a wider malaise...?

The Government certainly doesn't seem to promote any sense of togetherness or loyalty in our culture any more. We're being fractured and torn apart by fear and bitterness. We're encouraged to view each other with suspicion and cynicism seems to know no bounds.

I used to believe that most people prefer to be good to one another. Then I underwent a psychological evaluation (for my seminary application) and it appears that I might have been a bit naive. It now seems to me to be likely that most people are - to a greater or lesser extent - often selfish, back-biting and out for whatever they can get at the expense of whoever gets in their way. Certainly it seems that many people will habitually 'break the rules' if they know they can get away with it and if it will gain them some advantage. 

From lifting paperclips and other stationery from work (admit it, you do this don't you? A few sheets of paper won't be missed, you're OWED it aren't you?) to breaking the speed limit (I'm not harming anyone, am I?) to secretly eyeing up the girls at the pub while your wife/girlfriend is elsewhere (I can look if I want, can't I? I'm not touching after all...) most people seem to be losing their sense of honour, and frankly, their willpower seems to be lacking somewhat. It seems a bit of a cliche to harp back to the ‘good old days’ but there really was a time when personal morals were stronger.

Yes, these are often just little things and the effect can be minor, if not non-existent - at least apart from within one’s own mind. But take a look at what is going on out there in the wider world where these lackadaisical attitudes to personal morality have wider consequences...

There is a view that says that the Government of the day panders to its own constituency rather than looking out for the good of the whole country... Why? So that individual people can remain wielding the power that they love so much. Government owes loyalty to ALL the people, not SOME of them.

But where is all this culture of disloyalty coming from? Has society been led into a habit of hedonism by government policies or have authorities lost touch with their responsibilities towards society by virtue of the fact that they're formed from people who were already more or less devoid of, well, much virtue in the first place?

It's a Chicken and Egg situation, isn't it?

Perhaps people can enlighten me?

I’ve been remiss in not updating this blog for a while. 

Things have been busy here, not least with interviews and meetings and a lot of prayer. And it’s with great joy and not a little bit of apprehension that I can report that I have been accepted to test my vocation for the priesthood at St Mary’s College, Oscott (the seminary where students are sent from the Diocese of East Anglia).

Please pray for me while I prepare for this momentous change in my life!

A comment I saw on an online forum topic about ‘managing decline in the Church’ read “Sometimes I want to scream! We have a problem. We have lost, and continue to lose, the young people”

I thought it might be worth putting my reply here (modified very slightly for context), for wider readership (assuming anyone’s actually reading this!)...

I'll add my voice in agreement with this statement too.

There are too few Catholic schools and the opportunity to start them is minimal as they would not be sustainable in today’s secularised climate.

For the youth we DO have contact with, we need a programme of continual reinforcement of their faith. That means their parents need to work with them, and they need to hear more from the Church (at a personal level) than 'just' going to Mass. It seems to me that children get their First Communion instruction and then they're just left 'flapping in the wind'... There's no obvious continuing youth catechesis. The Faith needs to be kept alive for them. Mass alone can't do it if they go to secular and non-religious schools. We need to bring back 'Sunday School' - although perhaps in a modern form.

It's a very real ambition of mine: on a personal level I'm itching to be able to talk to and teach the youngsters in my parish. I want to engage their minds, get them thinking about God in their lives, point to the Tabernacle and ask them not what but WHO is living within it. I want them to feel that the Church is a lovely warm embracing place to come into and not somewhere that they get dragged unwilling of a Sunday morning or Saturday evening. I want to forestall the intransigence of teen age, the digging in of the heels and refusal to come with Mum and Dad to Church because they don't feel either wanted, appreciated, valued or plain old interested. I want to draw them so close to God that they can't wait to come to the next Mass.

This is achievable. You know how?

Kids love to be given responsibility. They like to feel part of something. They want to feel valued for the contribution they can give. They need affirmation and affection from the Church. If we can communicate with kids at a level appropriate to their age and that they feel that we're hearing them and appreciating their efforts they'll keep coming back.

On catechesis, we must have teaching at more than just First Communion and Confirmation levels. We need it at the ages in between and beyond. In fact we probably need it right up to and including adulthood - an interactive engagement with religious ideas and the Church that goes beyond the homily. Kids need 'rites of passage' experiences and we can easily build them into their experience of Church. We can engage them with the ways in which we can teach them to worship. Here’s an idea, perhaps for older children: coming to the first morning Mass where the kids make a special resolution to ‘break their fast’ with the Sacrament, for example. Perhaps not as a regular thing - the rules don’t require it, after all - but as something significant for them to experience. (I remember, as an adult, the huge symbolism that it had for me the first time I did it). Perhaps it could happen early in the Summer Holidays? And not just 'abandoning them' afterward but getting them together and asking them how they feel and what the experience meant to them.

That’s just one single idea. Here’s another. How about giving children the opportunity for regular Eucharistic Adoration as part of their exercises in learning spirituality? Let them talk about what they think and feel. I know that as a child I never had that opportunity and on the exceptionally rare occasions that I caught sight of the Monstrance I wondered at its beauty. I would have benefited from exploring it more.

There are so many ways we can attach worship to our daily lives  that our faith can quite easily and reasonably become subsumed into everything we do. Once that happens it becomes part of the fabric of your life. 

We need a radical and practically heroic effort to bring these experiences of faith to our young. It'll stem the flow of youth as they fall away from the Church. It needs to be done NOW and we can ALL help.

Is my vocation showing, do you think? ;)

An idle thought...

I wonder if anyone remembers the old advert for the Royal Mail that had the theme of ‘I saw this and thought of you’ as a reason to send someone a gift in the post?

It just occurred to me that this theme would be an excellent one for re-connecting with those who had fallen away from the Church. Perhaps someone could come up with some leaflets or booklets along this theme, containing words of compassion, tenderness and a longing to be reunited with our ‘lost sheep’. 

I expect such things probably already exist. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Church appropriated this common phrase and made it work for something much better than the Post Office.

What is happiness? How is it achieved?

Taking a cue from an article I have been reading, I have been thinking about happiness and how people aspire to and achieve it in the world today.

Where is happiness found? Are people missing a few ‘tricks’ in their quests for happiness?

It seems to me, based on what I have observed in those around me and confirmed in the article that prompted these thoughts, that people will do a lot to achieve happiness - perhaps more than they need to and often the wrong things altogether. 

Some people consider that having the perfect body (a pernicious concept, in my opinion) will make them happy and they’ll move mountains to carry out this wish. They’ll sacrifice hours each day sweating away at a gym, pounding the streets in sweatshirt and trainers or wasting away on a punishing diet of little more than air and dust. And perhaps they’ll be satisfied when they get to their goal, but they will still have to work hard maintaining their body image. 

Other people think they will find happiness in money and they become driven and addicted to working every last available second of the day towards fulfilling that dream, often without ever achieving it and very often at the considerable expense of others.

I wonder though, have any of these people considered that happiness is an emotion and not a commodity? It cannot be reliably gained in things that can be seen. It can, however, be easily gained in things that can be felt. And that is where the heart comes in.

Wouldn’t it be wiser for a person to examine what sort of happiness it is that they’re seeking? The perfect body does not last forever. Money does not buy love (although it might be able to buy a superficial facsimile of it which, again, will only be transient).

Happiness - true happiness - does not exist in isolation. I cannot achieve happiness thinking only of me. I am a social creature - just like most other people - and, when it comes down to it, I achieve happiness in how I interact with people. The person who is obsessed with their appearance does so because they believe it makes them more acceptable to other people: they believe that if they can only be just this much prettier or just that much more ‘toned’ then they’ll have people falling at their feet. But the prettiest person in the world still needs an attractive personality. The richest person in the world might be able to ‘purchase’ hangers-on but what happens when the money runs out? 

Look inside yourself and ask yourself how much time you spend being good rather than chasing a material goal. Could you achieve a greater and more fulfilling happiness in being a ‘better person’?  

Christ gave us the most amazing commandment: to love God and to love one another as we would be loved. Loving God gives us the strength and the reason to love one another. In spending time in prayer we gradually begin to appreciate the world and our lives in new ways. New meanings become apparent and old ambitions fall away. No longer is it necessary to be rich or beautiful. Instead it becomes more apparent that greater satisfaction and ‘inner peace’ comes from the ways we talk to others. It’s not an exaggeration to state that, in my experience, the more focused I am on prayer and contemplation of God, the more I find that I value other people and from that my perception is that they value me more as well. The one is driven by the other. And this happiness doesn’t decline with age or dwindling bank balances because it’s rooted in something not of the material world... and that something is wonderful, mighty, eternal, peaceful and loving. I’m sure you know His name by now...

I have just returned from my diocese’s Discernment Weekend for those considering applying for entry to the Priesthood.

From Saturday onwards there have been moments each day that have been very special.

Moment 1.

We had an hour of Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament on Saturday afternoon. It was in a normal room. No churchy surroundings or inspirational paintings or anything. Just us and the Blessed Sacrament. I won’t go into too many details, but after about 50 minutes I had what I can only describe as a moment of perfect clarity. Well, more like five minutes of moments actually. And it was wonderful. In the proper sense of the word: I was filled with wonder. And awe. And joy. I felt changed. And that wasn’t the end of it.

Moment 2.

On Sunday we went to Mass at the nearby church. We walked there -  a group of seven of us - down lanes and between fields, and even past a roundabout inhabited, astonishingly, by a large number of seemingly feral chickens. Which was a bit of a surprise! Anyway we got to St Edmunds in Bungay and I discovered that it’s lovely (both the church and Bungay itself). Just being in that glorious church in such magnificent surroundings would have been good enough, but no, there was more. There was an organ. A REAL organ. With pipes. And an organist. And there was even more! There was a choir. A REAL choir. That can sing. They have a soloist. Who can SING. (And they even have hymns pitched such that I can sing them too!). And then there was a full complement of altar boys and girls, with an MC. I couldn’t help but feel blessed that I was able to attend Mass there. Afterwards we all went for coffee and were made to feel very welcome.

Moment 3.

Perhaps I am revealing my more ‘modern side’ here, but I have just discovered a most amazing piece of music. It’s ‘Agnus Dei’ by Rufus Wainwright and it’s nothing like any Agnus Dei you’ve ever heard before. It took my breath away. Wainwright performs the piece outstandingly: his voice portrays such longing and draws one right into the music. On first hearing it, it ‘knocked my socks off’ and served to remind me that there is a rich seam of religious music that can be reinterpreted and rescored in a modern way without losing any of its purity or its ‘punch’.

(Latin purists will want to be pre-warned that ‘Agnus’ is pronounced badly in the song - with a rather hard G - but in my opinion it takes nothing away from the passion in the piece).

Moment 4.

Finally, today I have discovered http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/. Produced by ‘Jesuit Media Initiatives’ I couldn’t fail to be impressed. It’s made it straight to the top of my list of web favourites and I foresee that it’s going to be a great resource for my daily prayer life. I thank God for the effort that has gone into it.

I was looking at my faithful pooch (that’s her in the picture) this afternoon and a question struck me that caused me some sadness...

How is it that so many are so capable of showing such kindness and tenderness to their pet animals and yet so capable of being mean to their fellows? Not all people, by any means, but history is replete with examples of the goriest of characters who were reputedly kind to small animals and pets.

We are made to love. Our deepest desire is to love and to be loved. Our emotional security comes far more from a loving relationship with our family and our friends - people who we know we can rely on - than on simple material possessions. I have heard people say they would happily live in a cave if it meant they would be with their beloved rather than be separated but in material comfort. So how come some people seem only capable of demonstrating their capability for loving in doing so for an animal? 

Isn’t love meant for sharing? Isn’t tenderness something that every person deserves? Isn’t it nourishing and sustaining? Could those people who derive emotional satisfaction from loving an animal not try to demonstrate that tenderness for other human beings as well? It costs nothing, and we’d all gain so much.

I have been thinking lately about my Christian beliefs. Well, actually I think about them all the time, but sometimes a specific idea grabs you and it doesn’t let go for a while.